Sad

I`ve usually been the one to run off and leave everyone else in the dust.  All around our apartment my husband and I have pictures hanging up of family members whom we get to see about once a year, if we`re lucky.  I know from experience that in time, people can adapt surprisingly well to circumstances of distance.  But...I argue with myself... I don`t want to get used to her being gone!

As I write this my best friend, whose name isn`t really Jade, is on a plane over the Pacific somewhere, heading for LAX.  She needs to spend some time with her family. It`s probably something she`s been needing to do for 7 years, since she left the US for Japan straight out of college and hardly ever looked back.  She`ll be in LA for four months, and there`s no guarantee she`s coming back to Japan after everything is all sorted out.

Jade`s consistent support has been an immense factor in my getting sober.  Soon after realizing that I`d be needing to do something with all the free time I would not be spending drunk, we bought roller blades and juggling sticks together, sang hours upon hours of dry Karaoke, and became closer than we`ve ever been (even in our most drunkenest of drunken girl talk sessions!)  She is not an alcoholic, so I always told her to go ahead and have a drink on our frequent dinner outings, but she never did.

You know, if I were still drinking right now, and Jade were still leaving, I could have gotten through this far more easily by just picking a fight with her.  We used to fight al the time.  Alas, in sobriety it is far less practical to start arguments with people in order to hide from how much you love them and need them around.  So it hurts all the more when they can`t be around.  Which she can`t.  Because she needs to do this.

So...good luck Jadie!!!  

Even though that`s not really your name!

Comments

[VicariousRising]

Being a grown up is great in the best most beautiful sucking way. Glad you've made it here. Occasional infantile outbursts still allowed (or rather, unfortunately still occur from time to time - sobriety is a journey with bumps)

[VicariousRising]

Oh, and I forgot to say that I think it is wonderful that you can be there for Jade the way she was for you.