Geisha, Interrupted

in which your regularly scheduled bitter bloggery is interrupted by cherry blossoms...again

IfuCkiNgLovEthIsCoUntRy!

for the moment, anyway...

Sakura Sightings: Yokoami

About half-an-hour stroll up the Sumida River from Eitaibashi, is a small and unassuming park where citizens walk their dogs, children play on swings, neighborhood festivals are held, and a few homeless  men lay claim to a bench or two.

It's called Yokoami park, and it's across the street from the apartment of the last student I taught privately this evening.  I pass through this park fairly regularly on the way to this student's home, but today I didn't get through it as quickly as I usually do.  That, of course, is because the cherry blossoms are out.

What distinguishes Yokoami from the other municipal parks in this city, however, is its dark history.  The Yokoami park and memorial hall were designated in 1930 to commemorate the victims of the Great Kanto earthquake of 1923, 40,000 of whom were instantly incinerated upon that very plot of land when their presumed shelter was struck by fire cyclones. 

And as if these 5 hectares of land weren't burdened with enough traumatic memories, some decades later Yokoami came to double as the final resting place for the cremated remains of 105,000 civilian victims of the 1945 Tokyo air raids.  The small park also houses a peace memorial and a small museum to remember the Great Kanto Earthquake.

What strikes me most about this little park is how easy it is to rush through it on one's way to work or wherever, and not even realize the horrors that took place here.  Tokyo is a city of busy people, and busy people don't tend to stop and read the signs.  As well, on one side of the park there is an arrangement of melted metal artifacts from the earthquake. There, I've seen children playing on a melted car on more than one occasion.  It seemed odd to me.   

But at the same time, I feel like the sheer quantity of loss in this park's memory is completely unfathomable, and is therefore just as incomprehensible to those of us who've read entire books about what happened here.  So maybe it's just as well to let the kids play.

life is short

Denialmon

Imagine for a moment, you are running a nation built upon a feudal tradition of straight-up, no-foreigners-allowed isolationism.  Further alienating yourself from your neighbors, you continually ignore their requests that you formally apologize for massacring their civilians and forcing their women into prostitution last century. More recently, you've managed to irritate the rest of the world by resuming whaling in the Antarctic and by subjecting all non-Japanese (even permanent residents) to fingerprinting and interrogation at the border.  You are also marking the first anniversary of a high-profile murder case which you bungled so severely, the killer of a foreign English teacher managed to escape nine Japanese police officers, barefoot.  And you still can't find him!

This is definitely the time to appoint an animated robocat from the future to be your next foreign ambassador!

No, really...

Japan appoints its first cartoon ambassador

TOKYO: Japan has created an unusual government post to promote animation, and named a perfect figure to the position: Doraemon.

Foreign Minister Masahiko Komura appointed the popular cartoon robot cat as "anime ambassador" on Wednesday, handing a human-sized Doraemon doll an official certificate at an inauguration ceremony...."Doraemon, I hope you will travel around the world as an anime ambassador to deepen people's understanding of Japan so they will become friends with Japan," Komura told the blue-and-white cat.

The appointment is part of Japan's recent effort to harness the power of pop culture in diplomacy....This year, the ministry plans to arrange showings of a Doraemon film in Singapore, China, Spain, France, and at other Japanese diplomatic missions around the world.

Doraemon — through voice actress Wasabi Mizuta, who spoke from behind a sliding paper screen — promised Komura that "Through my cartoons, I hope to convey to people abroad what ordinary Japanese people think, our lifestyles and what kind of future we want to build."

Created by cartoonist Fujiko F. Fujio, Doraemon is a Japanese cultural icon and is popular around the world, especially in Asia. The robotic cat travels back in time from the 22nd century and uses gadgets such as a "time machine" and an "anywhere door" that come out of a fourth-dimensional pocket on his stomach to help his friends, allowing them to travel anywhere and to any time they wish.

Astro Boy, another cartoon icon, was named last November as ambassador for overseas safety.

The Japantsu Quiz

Which type of Japanese boxers/briefs are you???

To find out which popular male undergarment you most resemble, please choose letter corresponding to your personality type, then scroll down...

A) You are sentimental, yet driven.  You are solid and self-supporting, still you start to cry whenever a certain Hallmark commercial comes on.  Your favorite direction is up.

B) You enjoy the finer things in life, especially anything frivolous, flamboyant, or florescent.  You glow in the dark.  Unfortunately however, you got a D- in freshman English composition.

C) Not afraid to show off a little skin, you can be a bit of an exhibitionist.  It's too bad you are so given to inappropriate racial stereotyping. 

D) You love animals, activity and attention.  As a rule, you are far more special than other people.

AND

    NOW

           FOR

                THE RESULTS

             WE'VE

      ALL

BEEN

      WAITING

              FOR!

Choice A:

You are SAPPY!

Choice B:

You are FOPPERY!

Choice C:

You are BLACK MAN!

        

Choice D:

You are on the SPECIALTY RACK!

(FiNe pRiNt: Geisha, Interrupted takes no responsibility for faulty results, or for anything whatsoever. Not an actual quiz.)

The Shadow of Aum Shinrikyo

Today was a national holiday here in Japan.  It's nice to get a day off for each of the two equinoxes every year, if only because it gives us a moment to envision the Earth spinning on its axis and feel personally dwarfed by the forces of the universe.

Today is also the 13th anniversary of the sarin gas attack on the Tokyo subway system. 

In this city, it is hard to ride the subway without being constantly reminded of the domestic terrorist attack carried out by members of the Aum Shinrikyo cult on March 20, 1995.  That's because there are pictures of three escaped cultists in hanging up somewhere in almost every station. 

At Kasumigaseki (where a couple of train workers were killed) the pencil sketches of the perpetrators are larger than life-size.  And every few years or so, someone redraws the sketches of the culprits to make their faces look older.

When I first moved to Tokyo, I had no idea who these three people were.  For a few months, I honestly assumed that they were three Japanese citizens who had been abducted by the North Koreans, as this was another run-on-mega-issue inside of Japan (and my kanji wasn't so hot either.) 

Then one day, I was taking the metro with a Japanese friend who pointed out one of the posters and simply said "AUM".

Over five years of commuting later, I feel as if I know these pencil-sketched people.  It's almost as if they are old friends, greeting me with the same expressions every morning.  How creepy is that??

In Haruki Murakami's nonfiction work Underground: The Tokyo Gas Attack and The Japanese Psyche, he offers some pretty compelling thoughts about what may occur inside the minds of some cult members.

"If you lose your ego," he writes, "you lose the thread of that narrative you call your Self.  Humans, however. cannot live very long without some sense of a continuing story.  ...Now narrative is a story, not logic, nor ethics, nor philosophy.  It is a dream you keep having, whether you realize it or not. ...At this point you receive a narrative from the person to whom you have entrusted your ego.  You've handed over the real thing, so what comes back instead is a shadow."

And 13 years later, the shadow of these cult members remains.

in which the self-sick self writes more about self...

Forever ago, I was tagged by Melanie over at My Life as a Gaijin to fill out this little questionaire called "All about Me Meme". I'm pretty sick of writing about myself, but I'll give it a shot here anyway.  Because getting tagged affirms my existence in the blogosphere, after all.

What I was doing;

10 years ago

Learning to drive, stressing over the SATs, performing cruel experaments to see how long a girl could go without any calories, listening to god-awful techno music, dropping ecstasy and having no idea how much better my life would eventually get once I left that town.

5 years ago

In Yokohama, listening to my homestay mother lecture me about one cultural faux pas or another, growing to hate that woman more and more every day.

1 year ago

Finishing up the final draft of my manuscript, soon to commence panicking over the intensely personal nature of my memoir.  (Panic still in session)

Yesterday

Tutoring kids in English conversation, showing an 8-year-old boy a picture of a pig with wings and asking him "why do you think this pig can fly?"  Laughing to myself when he responds: "Because it's an angel-pig?"

5 snacks I enjoy

1) Japanese chocolate, especially "Crunky," "Panky" and "Munchie Munchie Panda."

2)Sliced canned beets. (Yes really, and they're friggin' good!)

3) Frozen peas (while they're still frozen, of course).

4) Umeboshi wrapped in Nori (minus the rice, rice is mendokusai).

5) String cheese

5 books I like:

1) After the Quake, Haruki Murakami

2) The Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison

3) The Harry Potter books (oh yes!)

4) Any historical study of Tokyo/Edo.  Seidensticker is my homeboy.

5) Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy

What I'd do with 100 million dollars:

1) Attempt to save the world, by way of generous donations to worthy causes.

2) Become frustrated at my inability to actually change anything, despite all my money, and run away to sulk.

3) Get lonely sulking, forget why I ever ran so far away, and repeat #s 1-3 until all the money has disappeared.

5 places I'd love to run away to

1) Guam

2) Thailand

3) An Onsen at the foot of Mt Fuji

4) Greece

5) Home

5 bad habits and pet peeves I have (I'm just doing the bad habits)

1) Pulling my hair out.

2) Hating most salarymen for no good reason.

3) Taking pictures of sleeping Japanese people on trains.

4) Accepting too much freelance work.

5) Cursing Tokyo Taxi drivers for not knowing how to get ANYWHERE

5 things I like doing

1) Pulling my hair out.

2) Hating on salarymen.

3) Taking pictures of sleeping Japanese people on trains

4) Too much freelance work

5) Cursing Tokyo Taxi drivers for not knowing how to get ANYWHERE

5 things I would never wear

1) A french maid costume

2) that gothic lolita getup

3) luusu sokksu

4) a girdle

5) high heels (anymore!)

5 TV shows I like

What's American TV again? I do watch a lot of Japanese TV, but this is more out of horrified fascination than because I actually like any of it.

5 movies I like

1) The Shining

2) Anything Miyazaki

3) Sakuran

4) Girl, Interrupted (be it triggering as hell) 5)

5) Team America

5 famous people I'd like to meet

1) Haruki Murakami

2) Madonna

3) Courtney Love

4) J.K Rowling

5) Noam Chomsky

5 People I'd like to see fill this out:

1) Vicarious Rising

2) Aubergine Fleur

3) Ashi

4) Mr. Hamster Wheel

5) Ali to Africa

Why The B Word Means Nothing

Once upon a time, my best friend's employer wrote a book.  Then, one week after Christmas, her book was one of the top-selling English language books at the Tower Records shop in Shibuya, Tokyo.  Since then, this woman has prefaced the title of her book with the phrase "the bestseller."  In so doing, she reminds us all that the term "bestseller" - when lacking a proper context- can mean absolutely nothing.  Jade has since left said job on very bad terms with said woman, and since then, the "bestselling" status of her former boss's self-published book has been a run-on joke between us.

This is why I couldn't wait to call Jade and tell her that I've made it onto a "(name of former employer)-bestseller-list".

The below is pasted from Amazon.co.uk, from the of new and future releases section, in the category "Japan".

Hot New Releases in Books

Any Category > Books > Travel & Holiday > Countries & Regions > Asia > Japan

The bestselling new & future releases in Japan. Updated hourly.

1.		The Rough Guide to Japan by Jan Dodd (Author), Simon Richmond (Author) Publication Date: 1 April 2008 Available for pre-order RRP: £16.99 Price: £11.21 You Save: £5.78 (34%)
2.		Exploring Kyoto: On Foot in the Ancient Capital by Judith Clancy (Author) (3 customer reviews) Publication Date: 1 May 2008 Available for pre-order RRP: £7.35 Price: £6.69 You Save: £0.66 (9%)
3.		Live and Work in Japan (Live & Work) (Live & Work) (Live & Work) by David Roberts (Author), Elizabeth Roberts (Author), Erica Simms (Author) Publication Date: 21 Mar 2008 Available for pre-order Price: £14.99
4.		The Little Tokyo Subway Guidebook: Everything You Need to Know to Get Around the City and Beyond by Ryoichi Kawarada (Author) Publication Date: 23 Mar 2008 In stock RRP: £7.99 Price: £6.39 You Save: £1.60 (20%) 5 used & new from £2.91
5.		BAR FLOWER by Lea Jacobson (Author) Publication Date: 14 Jun 2008 Available for pre-order RRP: £16.99 Price: £11.21 You Save: £5.78 (34%)

Woo hoo!  We're #5 (Any Category > Books > Travel & Holiday > Countries & Regions > Asia > Japan) at least for the hour! 

(Note: the UK release date is 2 months after the US release.)

The Marriage of Bigfoot

Jade and I went to Harajuku today, to go shoe shopping for my wedding.  Harajuku on a Sunday is really something else, but it always leaves a bad taste in my mouth to watch the masses of white tourists, as they invariably take copius photographs of much younger Japanese women. 

"They should just erect a statue of Gwen Stefani and get it over with," Jade said, pointing out the massive tourist boom in the neighborhood that resulted from the artist's generally clueless obsession some years ago.

"Like Yon-sama," she continued, "did you know that they built a statue of him in the Korean town where his TV drama supposedly takes place?  He did wonders for the tourism, so the city was really grateful to him."

"Isn't that fad over yet?"  I asked her.  Yon-sama is the gratuitous Japanese nickname for the  Bae Yong Joon, a Korean actor who tends to be lusted over by many an older Japanese housewife.

"Almost over," Jade assured.

Anyway, shoes.  We had to come by Harajuku to buy shoes for my wedding, because Harajuku is also where all the Japanese transvestites come to buy their shoes.  Likely, these same boutiques would also carry my size.  I wish I were kidding.

My feet are not even that big!  I wear a lady's 9 in American shoes.  Yet shopping in a regular Japanese shoe store is frustrating if not impossible for me.  So this time, Jade and I put up no pretenses and went straight for the she-male shoes.  After all, my wedding is far too important to go around pretending that I can fit into Japanese sizes.

If nothing else, my new shoes will make for a funny story at my wedding reception in New York.