Perverted Pun Peddling Personnel to be Punished Profusely

I may be the only foreign blogger in Japan who is this happy see Mainichi`s WaiWai get cancelled. I Never thought I`d say this but, Hurray for Censorship!!

No longer will I have to pass by headlines the likes of:  Fast food Sends Schoolgirls into Sexual Feeding Frenzy, Grotesque Gropers Gang up to Form Online Orgy Teams and Gummy Grannies Groping for a Good Time, whilst reading the local news in English.

If you don`t know what Waiwai was all about, let`s just say that in America it would be tantamount to a Japanese expat leafing through Globe and The National Enquirer to find the most outrageous, stereotypically American non-stories and translating them into Japanese news.  Think: "Fat Cowboy with Fifty Guns Feeds on the Fingers of Frightened Japanese Tourists; also hates natto, friends say." 

So yeah, WaiWai is offensive as hell.  But that pales in comparison to the real issue here: those puns in the headlines are hideous!!!  

I mean come on: Weighty Woman's Wickedness Strips Punters to the Bone?  Brainiac Bath Brothel Savior Blowing more than Bubbles? Hooker Housewives Redefine a Hard Day's Work?  Porno Prima Ballerina Stretches More than the Imagination?

Assonance and alliteration can only get you so far, Ryan Connell, and now you will have to pay for what you`ve done to us!

Huhahaha....

WaiWai`s death is a great victory in the battle against bad puns everywhere.