Speaking of Poo...

Let's talk about the holidays, shall we?

This year I am working straight through Christmas, which I'm quite bitter about.  I thought it would be OK because I am mainly doing translation work, and translating is usually fun for me, but this new cartoon I took on...I really should have read through the script more thoroughly before accepting it.

It a cartoon for young children, about a 3cm tall mini-cow who is obsessed with feces, his own and otherwise.

I shouldn't be doing this, but I HAVE to show you just how the first few minutes of the premier episode unfold:

Screen	Sound
PANUP from “cute character x” to view his mother. She is grinning warmly.	Cute Character X : Good morning, mom. Mother: It’s already afternoon!
Noticing this, X jumps up in shock. He turns around and strikes a ready pose.	X:  Oh no, this can’t be!  I promised I’d go play on Oppai Mountain. (“oppai” means “boob,” but I left that untranslated) Mom, I’ve gotta go!
His mother is grinning.	Mother: Be careful!
X goes into a spin jump and lands with his bottom thrust out, in what is his signature pose.  With a burst of speed, he rushes across the farm.	X: “Poopy!” Mother:  See you later! X: Woo hoo
As X energetically runs through the farm, there is a large crashing noise and the entire screen shakes.  X is knocked off of his feet.  He is briefly unconscious, then wakes up and shakes his head as he notices his surroundings.	SE: Bang! X: Ahh! X: Where am I? X: Oh!
A huge figure appears on the road ahead.  Facing the other direction, X’s father looks over his shoulder and snorts. Slight PANUP	SE: Snort
FOLLOW, PAN X dashes through the bushes.	X:  Whoooah!
With a “dadan!” sound, a huge pile of dung comes into sight from around the bushes.	X: Wow!
Looking up at the large dropping, X becomes emotional.  With tears in his eyes, he runs in circles excitedly.	X:  Of course, this is dad’s.  It’s greaaaaat!
From his father’s large and noble figure, the camera pans down to X and the large dung.	X: Dad’s giant body and big horns are so awesome!
X’s eyes twinkle in the light.	X: Dad’s dung is my favorite thing ever!.... ..........OK!............My turn!
X’s face goes red as he tries very hard.  He sings his lines, and sticks out  his bum.	X: Pooo…Poooo…Pooop…Poopy!
Two small poops plop out and X looks at them.  He blushes and scratches his head.	Of course, I can’t ever be as awesome as dad…
The screen shakes with the father’s giant steps as he leaves.  X sees his father off.	Father: Moohahaha!
X strikes a valiant pose. Then with a start, he recalls where he is going and dashes off.	X: One day soon, I want to become able to make such an amazing pile of dung. Oh, gotta go!

And when I finish this episode, there are four more just like it to complete before this particular order is done.  So basically, I am going to spend this Christmas translating stories about poop.  And yet, just as I start to feel sorry for myself, I remember how I spent Christmas last year, and how I celebrated all the Christmases in my recent memory: utterly trashed, shouting at whoever is around and alternately bleeding. 

That in mind, my translation work doesn't seem like such a crap deal after all.  Pun intended.

Comments

[THW]

Wow, what the hell is up with Japanese people? From reading your stories I've concluded that Japan is like Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch on acid. It boggles my mind to think that they very same people who have pioneered such great advancements in electronics and technology also produce children's shows about pooping cows.

[lamortimmortelle]

well well well...

I never stop getting shocked at the bizarre things japan comes up with -.-'

lol translating about poop...now THAT is a merry merry christmas :)

have a good one btw ^^

[Melanie]

What a shitty translation job to be doing over Christmas. Sorry, couldn't resist the pun. But really, that does suck.