So I finally broke down and got the Harry Potter game for my Nintendo Wii. So I don't get out as much anymore, and this has given my inner dork a true chance to shine, so what? Who among you could really resist a video game in which the Wii controller becomes a motion sensitive magic wand? I've always wanted a magic wand. I used to ask for one for my birthday every year up until I stopped believing it would work.
Wands do have their setbacks though. Check out the warning notice that came with my new software. It's pretty self explanatory.
We wouldn't want that to happen, huh. Japan is the land of curiously illustrated warning signs, the majority of which advise against glaringly obvious mishaps.
For example, don't fall into the construction pit!
Now take a day at the escalator. Here in Tokyo, we have warning signs to remind us NOT roll our babies' strollers down the stairs just to see what happens.
NOT to kick the elderly, no matter how slowly they walk in front of you.
and NOT die and fling your lifeless body over the guardrail, as this will inconvenience other riders.
Now for my personal favorite ode to the obvious, the Don't Molest People Campaign:
It's a good thing perverts are so easy to recognize, with their scaly backs, leotards and outstretched index fingers. God forbid the molesters look like everyone else.
Along with the obvious, there seems to be a subtle consensus among warning signs that one should not ride a bicycle or bathe in a public facility while being a white, foreign male:
Has anyone else seen that early episode of South Park in which "sexual harassment panda" gets exiled to "the island of misfit mascots" because "well, a panda doesn't have anything to do with sexual harassment...at all" ?? Well, the island of misfit mascots feels familiar somehow. . .
This is "greasy," the don't-pour-oil-down-the-sink grease blob with plans of world domination:
And "Gaga," the don't-park-your-bike-in-the-entranceway-lest-I-kick-your-ass evil baby:
"Nonsmokey," the don't-smoke-on-the-street bear in a bear costume:
I'd be more careful about copyright infringement lawsuits, winnie-the-stand-clear-of-the-train's-doors-or-you'll-be-in-deep-pooh...
Then there are the classic your-hand-is-stuck-in-the-door-so-we'll-just-point-and-smile raccoons:
And finally "Elfie" (bottom left), the always-obey-the-Tokyo-Metropolitan-Police midget alien: